Beef Haiku Daily

This is a website
which attests to the greatness
of beef as a meat.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Beef Haiku #39

The Gristle believes he has the answer to Steak Winslet's beef-pleating quandary.

Beef origami?
It needn'’t be difficult.
I tenderize first.

N.B. We received this offering in an email entitled 'meat jousting'. I find the idea of replying in kind to another artist's poetry strangely beautiful and appealing. I look forward with anticipation to my first Haiku argument.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Beef Haiku #38

Beefer Sutherland gets into the Christmas spirit. Do Christmas and Haiku mix? They do now.

We wait for Santa.
Then our meaty presents come.
Beef under our tree.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Beef Haiku #37

I am eighties cow
Maybe I have BSE
Burger me senseless

A big thank you to CJ Dee for lowering the tone.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Beef Haiku #36

Sebastian Coe.
I don't know if he eats beef,
but I reckon so.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Beef Haiku #35

The Gristle illustrates the dangers of experimenting with non-beef foodstuffs.

regardless of price
the cheese bap was an error
beef roll tomorrow

Monday, December 12, 2005

Beef Haiku #34

Steak Winslet strikes again.

Origami fun
So good to do with paper
Less easy with beef

Apologies for confusion

Here at Beef Haiku Daily we have received several complaints that there have been no Haiku posted "for the last few days". The Beef Haiku Daily Panel have deemed it appropriate for me to post the following explanation by way of an apology:

"We, the Beef Haiku Daily Panel, have been alerted to the fact that not all of our human readers conceptually understand the international universal cow calendar [IUCC]. The confusion regarding the lack of postings lies within the fact that the period between Wednesday 7th December 2005 and Sunday 11th December 2005 (human calendar) falls into the category of 'days' known pejoratively as 'bovine twilight'. Coupled with the word 'Daily' in this modern internet website's name, the apparent discrepancy is due to the fact that there are no corresponding 'days' in the IUCC. In short, where human beings believe there to have been a shortfall in meaty poetry (as a result of this site's use of the human Gregorian Calendar) in fact, there isn't one. If you are confused about anything else, we are sorry about that too (but probably not responsible)."

Thank you.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Beef Haiku #33

I don't have the balls
to eat any cow offal
- neither do they now.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Beef Haiku #32

Sometimes I wonder
if beef is really that good.
Then I punch myself.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Beef Haiku #31

A joint composition by Steak Winslet & Captain Beefheart.

An apple a day
keeps the doctor away but
so does a beef door.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Beef Haiku #30

I had an odd dream
of falling from tall buildings.
- Big Beef Trampoline.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Beef Haiku #29

The tragedy of pre-ingestion trauma is all too clearly illustrated by The Gristle.

the knife is too dull
i require more serrations
to eat this sirloin

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Beef Haiku #28

I wandered lonely
as a juicy peice of steak.
Which is quite lonely.